


only you know me the way you know me

by 1000_directions



Series: mcu kink bingo [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Begging, Blow Jobs, Captain America: The First Avenger, Coming In Pants, Consensual Kink, Desperation, Dry Humping, Established Relationship, Finger Sucking, Humiliation kink, Kink Negotiation, M/M, MCU Kink Bingo, Obedience, POV Bucky Barnes, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Power Dynamics, Sexual Roleplay, Small Penis, Submission, Switching, Teasing, Under-negotiated Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 00:11:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17497955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000_directions/pseuds/1000_directions
Summary: “You all right, doll?” Bucky asks, touching his fingertips to the nearly unnoticeable tent in Steve’s pants, so discreet he might have missed it entirely if he hadn’t already known exactly how to find it. “You want to do this like we used to do it?”“You know what I like,” Steve says. “I’m still the same I always was.”





	only you know me the way you know me

**Author's Note:**

> square filled: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers
> 
> Thank you Alex for reading this over and reassuring me that I hadn't lost my voice.
> 
>  
> 
> This fic contains an exchange where Steve uses his military authority to “order” Bucky to perform a sexual act, but only after Bucky explicitly asks Steve to do so. It takes place within a consensual, pre-existing sexual relationship, but I did want to draw attention to it as I normally avoid all power imbalances in my fics and didn’t want anyone to be caught off-guard.

It’s all different now.

The sick bay on the front doesn’t feel anything like their shitty apartment back in Brooklyn. And when Bucky backs Steve up against that closed door and urgently slots their mouths together, he has to lean up a little bit, not down. And every part of Steve’s body feels different beneath Bucky’s hands. Even when he wanted him so fuckin’ bad he was afraid of shooting off before they even got to the good stuff, Bucky always forced himself to slow down, to be careful. _Don’t hurt Steve. Don’t break Steve_.

But now, Steve’s got muscles in places Bucky didn’t even know you could get ‘em, and he’s solid and powerful under Bucky’s eager palms, and maybe now _Steve_ is the one who has to be careful not to break Bucky. And Bucky thinks about that for a second, thinks about Steve picking him up, tossing him around a bit. The idea of it makes him shiver, and he wonders if maybe he shouldn’t have been holding back with Steve. Maybe he would have liked being roughed up a bit. Maybe Bucky would like that now. And that’s different, too.

Jesus, but Steve’s mouth has always felt like coming home, now more than ever. Bucky was in trouble, and Steve came to his rescue like something out of a movie or a dream. It was never like that between them, and Bucky can’t quite put it into words, but he lets his tongue stroke his gratitude deep into Steve’s mouth. And Steve moans, and Bucky feels for his heartbeat with his palm, but Steve’s heart isn’t where he’s expecting it to be, it’s higher now, everything is different, and Bucky doesn’t ever want to stop kissing him, but he needs one moment to figure this out.

“At ease,” Bucky murmurs against Steve’s mouth, and then he pulls back a little bit, just enough to take him in and see him here in this unfamiliar light. Steve blinks at him, dopey and beautiful, and when Bucky narrows in and just looks at those eyes, it makes sense again. Bucky takes his hands and places them in front of Steve’s face, frames his features like a picture, and he looks at those eyes and that nose and that flushed mouth, and Steve’s tongue darts out to self-consciously lick his own lips, and that’s it, that’s his Stevie.

“Found you,” Bucky says softly. “There you are.”

Steve smiles, but there’s a hesitance to him. “Do I pass muster? Because if you don’t-- It’s not like I can change back, Buck. This is how I am now.”

“Shit, Steve. I’ll take you any way I can get you.” Bucky fits his hands to his shoulders, pushes him flat against the door again, and it takes a little more effort than he’s used to, but Steve still gasps like it caught him off guard. Bucky hides his grin in the juncture where Steve’s neck meets his shoulder, and he thoughtfully sucks the salty skin he finds there, scraping his teeth along the firm cords of muscle as he runs his palms down his chest, down, down, and Steve’s body is so hard under his hands, it’s like trying to sink his fingers into the ground, like basic training, like he’s on his hands and knees crawling on the earth, and he slips lower and lower, and he reaches one hand down to cup Steve through his uniform, and--

Well, maybe one thing hasn’t changed.

Bucky looks at Steve’s face, and he’s flushed bright red. Guess that serum couldn’t do anything to mask the way blood just spills into his milky cheeks and tells the whole world that he’s angry or embarrassed or turned on. But there’s a stubborn jut to his chin, a tension in his jaw, and isn’t that just Steve through and through, unwilling to back down from what he’s feeling.

“You all right, doll?” Bucky asks, touching his fingertips to the nearly unnoticeable tent in Steve’s pants, so discreet he might have missed it entirely if he hadn’t already known exactly how to find it. “You want to do this like we used to do it?”

“You know what I like,” Steve says. “I’m still the same I always was.”

“You’ll tell me if you want to stop?” Bucky asks, stroking just one finger over Steve, watching his face as he squirms under the gentle contact. “You just say ‘no’ and we’re done, okay?”

“Sure thing, Buck,” Steve says breathily, “but I’m never going to want you to stop.”

Bucky worries about that, whether Steve would ever actually stop him if he went too far. But Bucky thinks Steve could probably take a lot, lot more than Bucky would ever give him, and Bucky thinks he’d probably hit his own limit long before he even got close to Steve’s. Plus, at some point, he just has to trust that Steve can take care of himself and know his own limits. This only works if they trust each other, and they do.

“Take off that costume,” Bucky says, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest. “You look ridiculous.”

Steve nods eagerly and shucks off the stupid outfit he’s been running around in. He’s awkward about it, stepping on his own toes and getting his arms stuck in weird positions, like he’s still not sure where exactly his limbs are supposed to be, but soon enough, there’s a red, white, and blue puddle of fabric on the floor. Steve’s hair is all staticky and sticking up weird, and Bucky gets his first glimpse of the chest musculature of America’s best hope, and fuck, Steve. _Fuck_.

Bucky finally manages to drag his eyes away from Steve’s goddamn abdomen and catches the smirk on his face. Cocky motherfucker. Not for long.

“Those, too,” Bucky says casually, nodding at Steve’s briefs, and Steve hesitates a moment before he complies, shoving his thumbs into the waistband and pushing them down his thick, toned thighs, kicking them off when they catch around his ankles.

And there he is. Captain America in the flesh, looking like a goddamn statue carved from marble, muscled and pale and immaculate. And there, poking out from his thatch of pubic hair, is Steve’s same dick, small and hard and proud and furiously red.

It didn’t change one bit. In fact, in contrast to Steve’s new physique, it looks even smaller. And Steve keeps his hands on his hips, and he doesn’t say anything, and he lets Bucky step closer, still fully dressed, boots and everything, completing his inspection.

“Hi, baby,” Bucky says quietly, talking directly to Steve’s cock. “Did you miss me, little darling?”

Bucky reaches out with one finger, taps Steve’s dick lightly to watch it sway like a pendulum trying to reach equilibrium. Steve’s already wet and hot to the touch, and Bucky wants to get his mouth on him, but he knows he needs to wait.

“Can’t believe you’ve fooled them all,” Bucky says, looking at Steve’s face. “Do you think those men would have followed you into battle if they knew how small you were?”

Steve swallows hard and doesn’t say anything. This is what they do. Not all the time, but sometimes Steve needs Bucky to make fun of his small dick until he gets off, and Bucky can give that to him.

“What if they found out?” Bucky continues. “Maybe we should let them all know. For national security reasons, of course. Maybe we should just parade you through the camp like this, let them all see what Captain America’s hiding in his pants. Let them all get up close and personal. Let them measure you against their fingers, see how quick you get off just from someone giving you the smallest bit of attention. You’re so greedy for it, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Steve says with a strained voice.

“What’s that?” Bucky asks. “Speak up. Say it loud and proud.”

“I’m.” Steve licks his lips and shudders. “I’m so greedy, Bucky.”

“I know you are, and it’s a damn shame, too, isn’t it? You want so much, and who’d even want to give it you? Who’d even want to waste the spit to suck a dick that small?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says, and his dick twitches, and Bucky _wants him_ , but he waits, because this is how Steve likes it.

“Am I supposed to suck that?” Bucky asks. “Do you have any idea how good my mouth is, sweetheart? Do you have any idea how lucky you’d be to have it?”

“I want it,” Steve says softly, and Bucky ignores him.

“Am I really supposed to waste my skill on something that small? Would you even really get a chance to enjoy it, to let me show off how fucking good I am? Or would you shoot off the second someone got a finger on you?”

Steve whines, and his dick leaks a little into his pubic hair. The muscles in his arms tense like he’s trying to hold himself back, but he stays still and he doesn’t say anything.

“Bet you’re so fucking desperate for it that you’d come if I just breathed on it,” Bucky says. “I don’t know if a dick that small can even appreciate me. Can you appreciate me, Steve?”

“Yes,” he whispers.

“Then beg me for it,” Bucky says, and he shoves his hands into his pockets, his blunt nails biting into his palms as he tightens his fists, trying so hard to keep this going, to make it good for Steve. All he wants to do is swallow him down, lavish all his love and attention on him and make him see stars. But it’s better when they wait, so Bucky will wait, even if it’s killing him.

“Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please, Bucky,” Steve says. He’s breathing hard now, his nostrils flaring and his chest heaving, and he’s trying so hard to stay still and be patient, and it’s gorgeous, it’s fucking gorgeous. “Please, Bucky, please put your mouth on me. I’ll be so good. I’ll be worth it. Put your mouth on me and make me come, please.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says. “Maybe you’re not good enough for me. Maybe we could find someone else in the unit to test you out and make sure you’re worth it. Maybe I should take you out there right now and look for volunteers.”

“Please,” Steve says again, and he’s finally doing it, he’s begging and desperate and so easy for it. “Oh fuck. Please suck me, Bucky. Please. Only you can make it good. You’re the only one I want, please, please, _please_ , Bucky.”

This is when Bucky usually gives in, but he has one more card to play tonight.

“Not good enough,” Bucky says, and he sees the confusion in Steve’s eyes, sees the way his shoulders deflate. “I don’t think you could get anyone to suck that thing, not even out of charity. Not even out of pity, Steve. It’s so small. You can’t ask me to do that.”

“Then what?” Steve asks, blinking at Bucky, desperation pouring from his eyes.

“You’re a captain now,” Bucky says softly. “And I’m a sergeant. The only way you could get me anywhere near that thing is if you order me to.”

Steve cocks his head to one side, and Bucky waits patiently as the realization slowly hits him.

“I can’t do that, Buck. That’s wrong.”

“I asked you to,” Bucky says gently. “I want it, too. It’s okay, Steve. I know how to say ‘no’ if I need to, same as you.”

“Okay,” Steve says, almost to himself. He nods a few times while looking at the ground, and then he brings his gaze back up to Bucky. “Please, Bucky,” he says one last time. “Please just suck me.”

“I told you I won’t.”

“Then.” Steve squares his shoulders, and he takes a step towards Bucky. “Then get on your knees, Sergeant.”

“Is that an order?” Bucky asks, cocky and excited and _ready_.

“You bet your ass that’s an order.”

Steve is suddenly up in Bucky’s space, and he’s got his hands on his shoulders and he’s pushing down, and Bucky falls to his knees. And it’s only once he’s down here that he realizes how high up Steve’s dick is now. Before, he could slouch and be lazy about it, but now, he realizes that he has to keep his back straight, has to strain and reach for it, and his dick twitches in his pants. Steve is going to make him work for it, and he can’t fucking wait.

“Open your mouth, doll,” Steve says, his voice soft and controlled, and Bucky lets his mouth fall open. Steve trails his fingers over his jaw, testing the tension of his muscles, and then he taps two fingers to Bucky’s tongue.

This is new, and Bucky doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He tries to stay still and be obedient as he looks in Steve’s eyes, asking the question without saying a word.

“If you’re so good,” Steve says, “then why don’t you prove yourself on my fingers, so I can see if this mouth is worth getting my dick wet.”

Oh, Christ. Holy shit, oh _fuck_. Steve has never flipped the script like this, and just the thought of it has Bucky moaning.

“I didn’t ask you to make any noise.” Steve’s voice is devastatingly even and calm. “I asked you to suck my fingers, Sergeant. I won’t ask you again.”

Bucky breathes in through his nose, and then he keeps his eyes locked with Steve’s as he softens his tongue and delicately flutters it against the pads of his fingers. He keeps his touch teasing at first, letting the spit build up in his mouth as he laps at Steve’s clean, salty skin. Then he tightens his lips and sucks, drawing Steve’s fingers deeper into his mouth, as deep as he can get them until he’s tonguing at the edge of his palm, sloppy and eager, pulling Steve’s fingers to the back of his tongue, edging them towards his throat, choking on him and drooling and still wanting more of him.

“Who’s desperate now?” Steve asks him, and Bucky blinks up at him. His eyes are burning a little bit, and his mouth feels so full every time he tries to swallow. He’s feeling fucked out just from working on Steve’s _fingers_ , and Steve is so cool and unaffected, and Bucky wants to ruin him already.

“Steve,” Bucky garbles, barely able to get out the words. He tries to pull away, but Steve’s fingers follow him, keeping him full and clumsy.

“Do you want to stop?” Steve asks, and Bucky shakes his head as much as he can. Fuck no, he doesn’t want to stop, he wants _more_. “If you can get yourself off with my fingers in your mouth, then I’ll let you have my dick.”

Bucky moans in relief, and he pushes one of his hands under his waistband, trying to get a hand on his neglected, feverish cock, but Steve suddenly pinches his tongue, and Bucky squeaks in surprise.

“I didn’t say you could touch yourself,” Steve says. His voice is maddeningly even, like he’s so controlled and Bucky is the only one about to lose it.

Bucky takes his hand out of his pants and waits, even as he feels like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin. He knows he could say no at any time and Steve would stop instantly, and they’d cuddle into a cot to kiss and pull each other off, sweet and hot, the way they got off most of the time back in Brooklyn. But Bucky doesn’t want it that way right now. He wants it this way, oh fuck, he wants it like this.

“Put your hands behind your back,” Steve says, and Bucky complies immediately. Steve looks at him carefully, consideringly. “You can use my leg,” he says finally. “You can suck my fingers and use my leg to get yourself off.”

Steve doesn’t make any effort to get closer, so Bucky stumbles forward on his knees, falling into his sturdy body and trying to get his thighs around Steve’s leg, trying to find something to rut against, and he’s almost got it all lined up perfectly when Steve gives a small shove to his shoulder.

“Say ‘thank you,’” Steve says, firm and quiet, and Bucky’s eyes snap shut, and his dick spurts out so much precome that there’s no way he’s going to be able to hide this when he leaves here, everyone is going to know what they were getting up to.

“Thank you,” Bucky says around Steve’s fingers, and he’s drooling all over himself now, and the words are barely recognizable, but it must be good enough for Steve, because he lets go of Bucky’s shoulder and bends his knee to give Bucky a little bit of good pressure right on his swollen, anxious cock, and it’s so good that Bucky almost cries from it.

“Go on, then. Get yourself off if you’re so desperate for it.”

He _is_ desperate for is, and he doesn’t care how depraved he looks as he grinds his dick hard into Steve’s knee, swirling his tongue around his fingers. He shuts his eyes and whimpers, rocking his hips wantonly, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t _care_. He hasn’t been touched in so long. He’s been gone from Steve for so long, and he’s fucking starving for him. And if all of him he ever gets again is his fingers and his leg, he’ll take it. He feels the drool pooling in his mouth, feels it start to slide down his chin, feels the moment he takes Steve’s fingers too deep and gags, and he pushes past it. He’s fucking eager for it, he’s starving. Steve, Steve, he’s fucking _famished_ for it.

“Open your eyes,” Steve says in a strangled voice, and Bucky does, blinking carefully. His eyelashes are heavy and wet, and he feels like he can’t breathe, and Steve is focused on his face like he wants to eat him alive. Like he’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Like Bucky down here on his knees, pathetic and turned inside-out with lust, is his favorite sight.

Bucky swallows against his fingers, trying to get them all the way down his throat, and he tightens his thighs around Steve’s leg and chokes out, “Steve, Steve,” and Steve cups Bucky’s face with his free hand, thumbs at the mess on his chin and pushes it back into his sloppy mouth, and something inside Bucky that’s been locked up tight shakes loose, and he shudders, and then he sobs, and then he comes.

“Bucky?” Steve is saying somewhere far away, and Bucky tries to follow his voice back. And when he opens his eyes, the two of them are sitting together on the floor. Steve’s still naked, and Bucky is still completely dressed, and his drawers are cold and sticky against his spent cock.

“Steve?” Bucky mumbles. His voice feels wrecked. Steve smiles down at him with relief.

“Lost you there for a minute, pal.”

“I’m right here,” Bucky protests. “Hey, did I do good? Can I suck you now?”

“You shouldn’t overdo it,” Steve says cautiously. “You’ve been malnourished and dehydrated for weeks, and I don’t want--”

“Let me suck your dick right now or I’m gonna go get myself kidnapped, and you’ll have to rescue me all over again,” Bucky says, pushing up onto his knees. “Seriously, Steve, stand up. Give me your dick.”

“Jesus, all right,” Steve grumbles, getting back on his feet. He threads one of his hands through Bucky’s hair, scratching at his scalp like he always did, like they’re back in their bed in Brooklyn at the end of a long day. “I would, you know.”

“You would what?” Christ, Steve’s hands feel good. They always did, but they’re so big now. They can cover all of Bucky’s head at once, and he lets himself be pet and fussed over.

“I’d rescue you again,” Steve says softly. “A million times, Buck.”

“Shut up,” Bucky says tenderly. “Jesus, Stevie, just shut up.”

He fits his hands to Steve’s hips, so broad and unfamiliar in his grip, and he nuzzles in close to his cock, which is just starting to show signs of interest again after being ignored for so long. He kisses his balls, his shaft, the shiny head of his dick. Steve gets off on being made fun of, but he also gets off on being worshipped, and Bucky is good at that, too. He laps delicately at Steve’s dick, short, adoring strokes that encompass the whole of him. Everything else is different, but Bucky still loves Steve’s cock, and it’s exactly the same as it was.

“Let me take care of you,” Bucky murmurs, and Steve’s breath is a heady staccato as Bucky opens his mouth and draws him in, keeping his tongue gentle and wet, pulling him deeper and lavishing him with a tender, teasing heat. Steve still fits perfectly in his mouth, and Bucky takes care of all of him at once, overwhelming him with his generous, thoughtful tongue.

“Jesus,” Steve grunts, and he touches his thumb to the corner of Bucky’s lips. “God, your mouth. Feels like you were made to suck me.”

 _I was_ , Bucky thinks to himself, but all he does is hum his assent, and he knows what those vibrations do to Steve. He _knows_ him, knows everything that gets him hard and makes him come, and he sinks all the way down until his nose is buried in Steve’s pubic hair and his tongue is soft and pliant against his balls, and Steve’s hand trembles where it’s holding Bucky’s face, and his knees almost give out, but Bucky’s got him tight and won’t let him fall, and Steve surrenders and curses and comes, and Bucky swallows him down and licks him clean and doesn’t let go of his softening dick until Steve weakly swats at his shoulder.

“C’mere,” Steve says, but before Bucky can get up, Steve sinks down to his own knees and takes Bucky’s face in both of his hands, and then they’re kissing, Steve licking deeply into Bucky’s mouth even though he knows he still tastes like come. Steve doesn’t mind, is the thing. He never cares about boundaries or what other people might think is wrong. He licks into Bucky’s mouth like it’s his own mouth, like his tongue belongs there. And it does. Christ, Steve, it does.

“Thanks for rescuing me,” Bucky says when Steve finally pulls back, his lips shiny and bitten and slick with spit. “Don’t know what I would have done if I had to go the rest of my life without seeing your dumb, beautiful face.”

“You’re going to see so much of my dumb, beautiful face that you’ll be sick of it,” Steve says, and his smile is so brilliant that it’s like looking into the goddamn sun.

Bucky reaches for his hands, bigger than his own now, and he sucks kisses into both of Steve’s palms, then he dotes over Steve’s fingers, paying special attention to the deep, angry grooves he finds on his left index finger. Bucky must have bitten down when he came. He doesn’t apologize for it, just licks out his penance against the bite marks, soothing them with his remorseful tongue.

 _I love you_ , they don’t say with words.

 _I love you_ , they say with every other part of themselves.

“When the Colonel asks how you’re doing,” Steve says, brushing the hair back from Bucky’s forehead, “I think I’ve figured out what to say.”

“What’s that?” He’s doing good. He’s good, good, best he’s ever been.

“Think I’d recommend bed rest for you,” Steve says softly. “A week. Maybe two.”

“But you know me, Stevie,” Bucky says, and he feels his mouth stretch out into his most charming smile. “You know I can’t be trusted to do what’s best for me.”

“I do know that,” Steve says, and he’s grinning now too. “Think maybe you’d need a chaperone. Someone to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

“Yeah? Who would you recommend?”

“Me,” Steve says simply. “If you could stand to be alone with me for that long.”

Bucky slides his palm along Steve’s chest, finally finds the right place to feel his heartbeat beneath his hand, steady and solid and constant.

“Reckon I could stand that,” he says eventually. “Reckon I could stand to be alone with you for a long, long time.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr post](http://1000-directions.tumblr.com/post/182192270029/mcu-kink-bingo-bucky-barnessteve-rogers)


End file.
